Counselling. Does it really work?

Counselling. Does it really work?

Lets pull back for a second and ask yourself these three questions if you are thinking of booking in some counselling sessions.

  • Do you feel it will benefit you?
  • Do you like the idea of talking about yourself personally to a stranger?
  • Do you believe it may work, eventually? 

Eight years ago, on the 3rd of June 2009 we lost one of the greatest women I have ever known and loved. My Nan. I remember the pain that entered my body and I remember crying at random points throughout the day for months. I was still in college and it was my final year, I had broken up with my college boyfriend, stopped speaking to all my friends and just retreating into my own bubble of safety. It was my tutor who referred me to the college counselor and for a few of the first sessions I questioned everything, why was I doing this? Was this even worth it? This isn’t going to work. Trust me, if you have sat there and wondered about counselling yourself its natural for you to question it.

But why is it, we are so comfortable after a few drinks we discuss our entire life story to another drunk person we just met. I recently started counselling again, to finally get through the last stage of my mental health and to finally put it all to rest. I hate feeling like I have a dark rain cloud above my head and it was only a few days ago a friend told me I hide my demons very well. That’s because I’ve had a lot of practice. Counselling for me is an outlet. A way to express myself without the fear of being judged, things taken out of context, and to talk to someone who barely knows me other than the things I have told them.

I have multiple friends who suffer from some form of mental and physical illness and nearly all of them have done counselling at one point or another. Yes it may not work for everyone but then for the other say 60% it helps them massively. Two weeks ago I had a two second thought about walking in front of a bus, to make the pain go away but as my counselor has told me, I have a strong enough personality and defense for my brain to bring me back and tell me off for even thinking such a thing. The reason I am telling you this is, its ok. Its ok to have those thoughts that pop in of our minds. I am a big believer on talking and you should always try to talk to someone if you are having a hard time, be that a family member, your best friend, a doctor or heck even me! (My inbox is always open).

I have struggled this year more than any other year. Last night I got to breaking point and almost pushed Luke away, luckily for me he understands when somethings get a bit to much and he is ready to hold my hand and keep me grounded. For those of you who are reading this post, I hope you have someone you can do that with.

Counselling for me, works. I am a talkative, emotional person and I can talk till the sun comes up. I find next to writing its the best outlet to get things off your chest and on the table. Why keep things welled up inside when they can fester and grow, when there are so many options for you to talk things out. Write a diary, create a blog, post on facebook groups, Readit! Don’t let things make deep cuts inside you.

You ARE NOT alone!

And if at any point you feel alone, email me. My phone very rarely leaves my hands and even if its just an email to get things off your chest feel free to do so! I cannot advise you as any professional but what I can be is a friend across a computer screen. You will be ok. We will all be ok.

xoxoxo

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29 Comments

  1. Dede
    November 20, 2017 / 11:36 am

    I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t sought out counseling this time last year. It helped me so much to come to terms with some things and to move on. I believe counseling can help most; whether big or very small issues. Just getting it out there is helpful.

  2. November 20, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    I believe it is always worth a try … and asking for help or reaching out to get counseling is always a step in the right direction. I appreciate your candor and honesty in sharing your views and story.

    ❥ tanvii.com

  3. Joanna
    November 20, 2017 / 2:20 pm

    I do believe that counseling works! A counselor is not only someone who listens to you but also helps you to make decisions on your own, by asking you questions that make you see there are options and there are solutions.

  4. November 20, 2017 / 2:45 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss Melly. Your Nan sounds like an incredibly special person and looking at the lovely things you share on your blog, you should never, ever feel like walking in front of a bus. Please. A long time ago something happened that I couldn’t deal with too, and talking to someone who’s impartial and trained to help made all the difference in the world. So yes counselling really does work

  5. November 20, 2017 / 2:57 pm

    I have started therapy 6 months ago as I had a massive breakdown due to some family issues…It helped me quite a lot, I made so many progress that I cannot even recognise myself sometimes. But I needed to stop for 3 months because of other financial priorities and my therapist didn’t take very well so I don’t know if I want to go back now but I definitely recommend it.

  6. November 20, 2017 / 3:29 pm

    I completely agree with you here! talking is the next best thing to writing when it comes to get things off your chest 🙂 and there’s nothing wrong with seeking help from a professional – they really are prepared to help guide us through issues and problematic situations. I think maybe the secret to success is through finding a good counselor that you actually feel comfortable talking to.

  7. November 20, 2017 / 4:40 pm

    Counseling is so important! There’s so may useful apps that help take away the stigma (and cost) of counseling and I love that! I’ve found it incredibly helpful over the years.

  8. November 20, 2017 / 5:21 pm

    I sought counseling a few years ago when I was going through a dark time in my life. I wish for more people to take advantage of the services that are out there…and not be ashamed of it.

  9. November 20, 2017 / 6:56 pm

    Personally, I dreaded counseling when I got married for the second time and it was required. I thought it would be a huge waste of money and time. But, had I not, I don’t think we would have done as well as we have been. We are still having trouble with active listening and communication, but we are in sync in so many ways. And that is greatly due to having help beforehand.

  10. November 20, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Personally, I think more people should utilize counselors! It’s wonderfully helpful to be able to have an unbiased ear!

  11. Josselyn Radillo
    November 20, 2017 / 11:48 pm

    I believe counseling can help in every way and area of our life and it can help us emotionally very much.

  12. November 21, 2017 / 2:25 am

    You are so strong and brave to share your personal battles and struggles with the world. I am sorry about the loss of your Nan, my grandmother past 2 years ago and I miss her dearly. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

  13. November 21, 2017 / 6:55 am

    Thank you for sharing your story. Counseling seems to be beneficial for many that I know. Mental health is so important and so is awareness. Mental issues shouldn’t be taboo or a source of shame.

  14. November 21, 2017 / 10:29 am

    Emotional read for me. Everyone does face depressing moments and stressful times and beyond doubt I say that counselling helps in coping with difficult times.

  15. Courtney Blacher
    November 21, 2017 / 11:02 am

    I’ve never tried the counselling, I think counselling really works and help a lot! I have friend who also struggled with your same situation. She’s a strong woman like you. I’m really sorry for your loss.

  16. November 21, 2017 / 2:16 pm

    I wish more people would go to counselors. Those who I have met that told me they go to one I could tell it really helps with their anxiety or whatever it is they are attending sessions for. Problem is there are so many who do not think they need it or too afraid to go.

  17. Ana Vukosavljevic
    November 21, 2017 / 3:17 pm

    You are such an inspiration! It takes so many guts to take about this on the Internet. It’s really nice to see that you are working on solving your problem and I’m pretty sure you’ll get over it much stronger! You go girl <3 <3 I'm with you!

  18. November 21, 2017 / 6:53 pm

    I’ve been in counseling before but for a far different reason than yours. I found that it did help. The talking, just being able to talk to someone who wasn’t in the present in my life other than just to listen to me, it made it easy for me to open up and seek the help I was needing.

  19. November 21, 2017 / 7:55 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma. Its so hard when we loose people but its perfectly natural to be knocked for six. I am glad you accepted the help you were offered. I myself have had various types of therapy including counselling and most recent cognigtive behaviour therapy which I found the most helpful. I had a tendancy to think of the most negative things so it helped me retrain the way I see things. I think different things work for different people but no one should ever be ashamed in seeking help.

  20. November 21, 2017 / 8:26 pm

    I had 2 or 3 counselling sessions some years ago but the one I talked to was (an honorary) family member, so it was both easier and weirder than talking to a stranger. I think that it helped a lot, at least it calmed me and helped me realise how strong I was.

    Even though it was some years ago now, I am indeed sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing with us and offering your attention to those who might need it <3

  21. November 21, 2017 / 11:03 pm

    I hope it works! My daughter is looking for a counselor right now and it’s a little scary!

  22. November 21, 2017 / 11:04 pm

    I’m all for counseling, absolutely! I actually am of the camp that believes everyone (every single one!) can benefit from counseling and everyone should have someone objective to talk to about life matters – it doesn’t have to be a huge crisis. It’s just good to see things from a different perspective and to be introspective as well.

  23. November 22, 2017 / 4:20 am

    I haven’t been in counseling before but if I needed to, I would do it in a heartbeat. I think it is essential in some situations and many have benefited from it. Would highly recommend it!

  24. November 22, 2017 / 9:24 am

    Counselling didn’t work for me as I’m quite an analytical person. The questions asked by counsellors had gone through my mind many times and it felt like a repetition. However, it might work for those who need alternative way to look at things!

  25. November 22, 2017 / 9:52 am

    I think counselling could benefit everyone is some way. I have been thinking about it for a few years but I have never had the courage to try it but I think I will after reading this.

  26. November 22, 2017 / 10:32 am

    Counselling does work when you take it from a trained person. I always counsel students in different stages during their academics and have got some very good results too

  27. Marie
    November 22, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    More people should really know about the positive impact counseling has. A lot of people – me included in the past – are ashamed to talk to others about problems.

  28. Nicole Flint
    November 22, 2017 / 4:19 pm

    I definitely think it’s worth it to try it out. That way you can check and see if you like it and if it works for you.

  29. Thena Franssen
    November 23, 2017 / 12:48 pm

    I think to each their own. For some, it does work for others not so much. Every person is different in how they will react and find support.

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