Lets pull back for a second and ask yourself these three questions if you are thinking of booking in some counselling sessions.
- Do you feel it will benefit you?
- Do you like the idea of talking about yourself personally to a stranger?
- Do you believe it may work, eventually?
Eight years ago, on the 3rd of June 2009 we lost one of the greatest women I have ever known and loved. My Nan. I remember the pain that entered my body and I remember crying at random points throughout the day for months. I was still in college and it was my final year, I had broken up with my college boyfriend, stopped speaking to all my friends and just retreating into my own bubble of safety. It was my tutor who referred me to the college counselor and for a few of the first sessions I questioned everything, why was I doing this? Was this even worth it? This isn’t going to work. Trust me, if you have sat there and wondered about counselling yourself its natural for you to question it.
But why is it, we are so comfortable after a few drinks we discuss our entire life story to another drunk person we just met. I recently started counselling again, to finally get through the last stage of my mental health and to finally put it all to rest. I hate feeling like I have a dark rain cloud above my head and it was only a few days ago a friend told me I hide my demons very well. That’s because I’ve had a lot of practice. Counselling for me is an outlet. A way to express myself without the fear of being judged, things taken out of context, and to talk to someone who barely knows me other than the things I have told them.
I have multiple friends who suffer from some form of mental and physical illness and nearly all of them have done counselling at one point or another. Yes it may not work for everyone but then for the other say 60% it helps them massively. Two weeks ago I had a two second thought about walking in front of a bus, to make the pain go away but as my counselor has told me, I have a strong enough personality and defense for my brain to bring me back and tell me off for even thinking such a thing. The reason I am telling you this is, its ok. Its ok to have those thoughts that pop in of our minds. I am a big believer on talking and you should always try to talk to someone if you are having a hard time, be that a family member, your best friend, a doctor or heck even me! (My inbox is always open).
I have struggled this year more than any other year. Last night I got to breaking point and almost pushed Luke away, luckily for me he understands when somethings get a bit to much and he is ready to hold my hand and keep me grounded. For those of you who are reading this post, I hope you have someone you can do that with.
Counselling for me, works. I am a talkative, emotional person and I can talk till the sun comes up. I find next to writing its the best outlet to get things off your chest and on the table. Why keep things welled up inside when they can fester and grow, when there are so many options for you to talk things out. Write a diary, create a blog, post on facebook groups, Readit! Don’t let things make deep cuts inside you.
You ARE NOT alone!
And if at any point you feel alone, email me. My phone very rarely leaves my hands and even if its just an email to get things off your chest feel free to do so! I cannot advise you as any professional but what I can be is a friend across a computer screen. You will be ok. We will all be ok.