In the last fourteen months, I have lost count the amount of nappies I have changed, the times I have washed and sterilized bottles, the sleepless nights and tired days I’ve had and the tears I have cried. I have lost count how much I have laughed, how many times I have smiled and how many photographs I have in fact taken. Becoming a mother started that moment the stick showed up two positive lines and I knew in that second (once a minute of panic was over) I was going to be a mother.
Fast forward to the life I lead today, I still sometimes get up countless times during the night to a crying daughter who doesn’t always like the dark, I will still check up on her multiple times during the day or night while she sleeps, even if I have things to do and we still have that little snooze all cuddled up together on the sofa like we did when she was little.
I have learnt so much about being a mum its crazy! As everyone will tell you, when you become a parent you lose out on a lot of your freedom near the beginning and you really should have been grateful for those late nights and lie in’s. You learn that the group of girlfriends you use to hang out with every other weekend will no longer return your texts or calls and you’re fine with that because you have something a lot more important than partying. You learn that people will make a lot of false promises about coming to see you and your bundle of joy, to the point they don’t tell you they’re not coming and you’ve waited most of the day.
I’ve learnt that there is a 5am and a 5pm in the day, I know the entire song and noises to In The Night Garden, that singing silly songs will make your child laugh and if there is a puddle they will splash in it! Life really does dramatically change one way or another when you become a parent. You miss those nights where you could just curl up, read a book and have a nice cup of hot tea. Now you’re lucky if its even a warm cup and the book isn’t a children’s story.
Its funny, since May my postnatal depression has finally calmed down, that might be because of certain people walking away out of our lives, the amazing friends I have around me, a supportive family and a wonderful partner, perhaps? Or maybe its because life just seems to have become a lot more easier these past few weeks. Yes, there are still dark days but they are so minimal now I take them on the chin and keep on moving.
Not only have I learnt that being a mother is a way of life, I’ve also learnt it bloody rocks! Having selfies with my little girl every other day, doing photo-shoots with just the two of us showing our ever changing and growing faces, going swimming once a week, adventures as much as we can and just being together is what makes this whole gig perfect. I know there are people who follow this blog to watch the process of Alice and I know there are people who read this for updates on my life and for that I’m grateful for your support and reading these posts.
Being a mum is the greatest job in the world and I never regret a single second of it.