I turned 26 last Thursday, 11th of May and honestly? If I could forget this birthday I would. I have always been one to celebrate my birthdays surrounded by good friends and family but this week was already tainted. For those who may remember when I started this blog, half way through my pregnancy Alice’s father proposed, on my 25th birthday so I was already not looking forward to the week ahead and the 13th of May this year would have been our wedding day.
Instead on the 13th, I decided to have a gathering of friends at my home and that turned out to be a big mistake after a few too many drinks. It’s a strange feeling you know, growing up and realising that in fact, it’s just another day and no longer a celebration of your birth. I am already thinking of taking myself and Alice away next year so I don’t have to be reminded of the last week or any other reminders of what could have been.
I am really starting to think this blog should be renamed to ‘Downer Life with Melly’. Which is such a shame as this year I had planned to do so much, to stop fear from getting in the way, to say yes to more experiences and so far I am ready to just go back into my safe bubble, keep my head down and go back to waking up every morning and the only thing I would do was be there for my Alice. It’s terrifying trying to move forward with your life when the world is pushing you back two steps.
I honestly thought that karma would give me a break and go after someone else for their behaviour but of course, life doesn’t work that way does it.