Disclaimer. I am not a doctor nor am I a therapist. This is all from personal experience and you can take this advice if you wish.
This is a follow on post for Coping with Postnatal Depression part 1.
Rereading the first post I made about suffering from PND opened my eyes to a whole new me. I could almost picture myself back in my bedroom after Alice’s dad left and remembered the pain deep within my stomach and the soreness of my eyes, grief had taken over and I can say now without a doubt, grieving someone who is still alive is the worse pain imaginable. I am now seven months into my single motherhood journey and it has taken me on a long road to recovery.
I wanted to write an update on how I’ve coped, what I have overcome and what I am still dealing with. However, I don’t want this post to be as doom and gloom as my last few ones I think have come across. So lets all take a deep breath, put on some “banging” tunes, dance around your room for a one song dance party and then lets do this!
I remember the first month of being on me own and feeling how difficult and scared I was to even go to the shop by myself. I would cry every single day and I was extremely argumentative towards my closest friends and family. I knew deep down there was something wrong and I am deeply grateful for my mother who held my hand and took me to the doctors and they gave me the help I needed.
If you remember in my first post, my postnatual wasn’t directed at Alice and even today it still isn’t. It was more a less directed at myself for allowing my world to change so suddenly.
I gave myself six months to grieve. To say goodbye to the life I thought I was going to have and by February I was feeling 100 times better.
Fast forward to me typing this now. I have finally started to look at myself and feel as if I know that person looking back. I know that who I was and what happened to me has made me the person I am today.
I still have bad days and I still get those moments where I want to lock myself away and forget everything but because of Alice I still get up every morning to start the day with a fresh mind.
Recently, I announced a photography portrait project I am doing about mental health and self esteem issues within woman. And hearing other woman’s struggles has made me realise just how strong we ladies are even when the world has tried knocking us down.
I will talk about this project in another blog post when I am ready to release the gallery. The aim is to get it up in an exhibit and to remove the stigma of mental health with women.
I am amazed every day when I speak to another mother about postnatal depression and how they have been made to feel as if its a battle they can only fight on their own. Which is wrong. I am so grateful for the support I have had throughout this entire journey and although you may feel that we are strangers, I am here to listen to you should you wish to talk about PND as I know what its like to feel alone.
I hope this post has been less depressing as my last few and thank you for taking the time to read my posts and send me your comments.
Hope you have a great week!
Images shot by Violettes Photography