It will soon have been a year since I found out I was going to be a mum to a special girl. It’ll also be a year since I sat William down, gave him a pint of beer and told him he was going to become a father.
So much has changed in these last 12 months. I was pregnant and had Alice. I was working in a busy environment and then I wasn’t. I was living at home with my parents and then I wasn’t.
While I sat in morrisons cafe today, taking to Alice as I drank a cup of tea, I kept catching the eye of a woman in her late fifties staring at me. I smiled and carried on looking at my daughter and didn’t think much of it. Until that same woman came up to me as she was leaving and commented on how beautiful Alice was and I was far to young to have a daughter.
I corrected her and mentioned my age which she then asked if I was married. Of course, I told her I was engaged and the look I had off her then was enough to make my blood boil.
It’s a shame in this day and age that people still frown upon you if you are a parent but are not married. Not everyone is able to take the same path as what our parents may have done. Met the one – engaged – moved out – wedding – babies. Sometimes it works backwards or jumbled up.
The path I am on is twisting and turning, forever changing. I wake up some nights with Alice cooing away and want to cry for the lack of sleep I have and other nights I wake up smiling because I can hear her.
Becoming a parent is the worse and best adventure you can be on. William and I have had our challenges together and we still face many today. With life always throwing something in the way, it takes a lot of courage to get past it. We have a close knit of friends who help but we also have each other.
However, I want to make this clear for you. Don’t be ashamed or feel like you’re being selfish if your child or partner is just causing you stress or upset. If you want to lock yourself in the bathroom for two minutes to chill, that’s ok. If you want to say no to those visitors then say no! If you just want to go lie down for an hour when your partner comes home then don’t feel bad that you have to.
We as mothers have to stay awake 23 hours of the day, with maybe a few naps in between. We also need a break to, just to feel human. Dads, please remember that.